.. Were you able to endure it?

..No, it wasn't something that I could handle at all.

At the time, along with everything else, I had things piled up that I just couldn't bear

I was in the line of work where I protected weaker people, but over time I started losing sight of the value of that same people I was supposed to protect

In the end, I did something irreversible... and I continued to do so.