This is not a love letter. I got this from Patchouli...

What!? Did that purple beansprout Patchouli write this for you!? I was with you first!!

Actually, I wanted to show Reimu first.

What the hell??? Why would you want to show Reimu!? Was this a love letter for Reimu, written by Patchouli??

But it struck me that Alice should be more familiar with Western magic, so I came to you first.

Heheheh... I knew it, we are the best fitting couple after all... so this is actually your love confession letter for me?

Would you calm down!?!? And listen to my damn words!

I'bv khabv, I'bv khabv... (I'm calm, I'm calm...)