Someone told me! That Laffey is! Willing to! Clean my ear for me!

FAILURE

Um... Sure.

Where's your ear!?

Your head, Commander, why is it shaped that way?

This is, well... You could say it's a tradition of sorts, or a genre convention...

Sure enough though, leaving it as a P all the time might be weird.

Here, I'm changing it to an S since I'm a commander. Commander = /shikikan/

*crack*

How 'bout this?

Well, sir, with all due respect, even if you put it that way... Laffey switches to polite speech here.