■I'm not trying to rush through life or anything like that, but I feel like I was really busy this year. My self-confidence is pretty shaky, so I'm never able to have a good work-life balance. I've got a deadline coming up. Less than a month to go, even though I just started 2 months ago. I mean, it's not like I've only been working in that time. I've had no time to relax though. My pen stopped working one day, so I decided it'd be nice to play some games, go out for drinks with some friends. But I didn't even leave my room, just zoned out the whole day. I thought, oh, if I'm staying in my room I may as well do some cleaning, but I can't do that until I've met my deadlines. Even though I have work to do, I should tell my friends that I'll go drinking, play games. I think it's obvious that I'm jealous of that consistency. I've been thinking "I'm just a no-good hikikomori, aren't I". I hate being like this, thinking that I'll just be the same next year. Makes me sigh to think about. So, recently, I've been slowly trying to better myself. I'm putting in the effort to fix my personality.